please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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