So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Me too!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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