I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
