i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
