I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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