i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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