she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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