the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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