I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
