I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
