Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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