how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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