You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are two peas in an std pod
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
