I accidentally burped into my bong.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
