I want to have your abortion
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
