Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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