do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
