I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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