batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
