I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
