Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
