Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
