It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my liver is dry heaving
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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