What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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