Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
