I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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