Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
