i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
