My hand turned me down
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
