Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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