I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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