david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
