Sponge bath it is.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
