I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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