This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
