Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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