Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
