He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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