My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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