I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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