Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
