turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
birth control should be required to get into college
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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