We need to rekindle our bromance
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
