I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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