someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.