i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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