So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome