sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
