Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
