The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
