just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
