hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
