writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
