the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
