I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
