I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
