i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
