Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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