We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
