Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
