I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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