Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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