On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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