he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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