The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize